The thing is...

I sat down at my computer today intending to compose a post about things that I hate (which doesn’t seem like a very positive exercise) when I discovered that my dear friend Matt Clack has just posted something on the same topic, except that he focused more on the things that he loves. So, it seems even more appropriate now for me to share my hates, although I will temper it with a few of my loves. And everyone should check out Matt’s post as well, if you haven’t already. Maybe those interested could comment about their loves on his blog, and their hates on mine.

This is making my blog sound a little like the evil twin of the two.

My desire to share my hates does not come out of the blue, I’ll have you know. A few days ago my boss (who is abandoning me to go on sabbatical as of the day after tomorrow) stuck his finger in my ear during a Child Protection Policy training meeting and a had a hell of a hard time keeping it together and not making a scene. And lets be honest, I made a bit of a scene. I could still feel his finger in my ear for about half an hour. This is all because I happen to have a thing about people touching my ears, or, especially, sticking anything in them. It makes me physically sick. As I was sitting in that meeting pouting about how violated I felt, I remembered a conversation I had with Tracy once where I’d said, “I just have this thing about ____” and she said, “well, Melody, you just have so many ‘things’; it’s too hard to keep up.” So, I thought I’d set the record straight and just make public a list of my ‘things’, though I doubt that it will be totally comprehensive. So, here they are:

The Things I Hate
1. People inserting things into/touching my ears.
2. Hippopotamuses
3. Barnacles

4. Things that are porous.
5. When people don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom.
6. Men/boys wearing denim shorts (unless they are old men, at which point it doesn’t seem to matter.)
7. When boys try to hit on girls while in another car sitting at a stoplight.
8. Fungi of any variety.
9. When children pick their noses.
10. Blatant disregard for appropriate grammar.
11. When I ask a sales associate for something and they respond by saying something like “Oh, I’m all out of that right now but I expect a new shipment in this weekend” as if he/she and the store are one and the same. Especially at places like Garden Ridge or cell phone stores.
12. Bad/cheesy poetry.
13. Bill Paxton.

I should really stop there, not because I’ve listed everything I hate, but because I’m beginning to get annoyed thinking about all these things.

The Things I Love
1. Really good poetry.
2. Waking up and realizing that I still have three more hours to sleep.
3. Hanging out with someone and being comfortable with not talking.
4. Accoustic guitar.
5. Sitting outside at night in the summer when it’s humid, or sultry, if you will, and eating fudgecicles.
6. Hiding. Like not necessarily when someone is looking for me, but sitting in my closet or something and thinking, ‘if anyone came in my room right now, they wouldn’t know I’m here.’
7. Chinese food.
8. Reading books out loud with my brothers and sister, and a select few others.
9. Watching movies with people who love movies a much as I do. (And with my siblings.)
10. Singing along with the radio really loudly in my car. When I’m alone. Of course.

And of course, that’s not all my loves, but it’s a start. If I name too many more, I’ll begin to feel vulnerable (which maybe should have been on the ‘hates’ list.)

What are yours?